How do you cope when you’ve lost everything? (article)
The emotional toll of disaster recovery can linger long after the smoke clears. In the wake of the fires, many are left grieving homes, routines, and a sense of safety.
In Vogue’s powerful article, “How Do You Cope When You’ve Lost Everything?” writer Lilah Ramzi speaks with trauma-informed mental health experts who offer guidance for those navigating grief, anxiety, and uncertainty. Here are a few highlights:
Feel every feeling
“There’s no single ‘right’ way to feel,” says Dr. Lauren Cook, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of Generation Anxiety. “We need to honor the full spectrum of emotions that people are experiencing right now—fear, grief, guilt, numbness, even relief. It’s all valid.”
Don’t rush healing
“Grief doesn’t have a timeline,” says Dr. Malika D. Closson, a psychiatrist and expert in trauma-informed care. “It may unfold over months or years, and may be reactivated by triggers like smoke in the air or the sound of sirens.”
Restore a sense of safety
“In the wake of a disaster, one’s sense of safety is often shattered,” says Gorter. “Restoring that safety is foundational.” That might mean reinstating a morning coffee ritual or journaling practice—any routine that helps re-establish a sense of normalcy.
Engage in deep self-care
“We often think of self-care as bubble baths and massages, but what’s needed now is deep care,” says Dr. Closson. “That means eating nutritious meals, moving your body, getting consistent sleep.”
Seek support
“Don’t go it alone,” urges Gorter. “Lean on family, friends, neighbors, and community resources.” But not all support is created equal. “Well-meaning comments like ‘everything happens for a reason’ can be hurtful,” says Dr. Closson. “Real support looks like listening, validating, and helping someone find the resources they need.”
Professional help may be warranted, especially if distress is interfering with daily functioning.
Experts quoted include:
Malika D. Closson, M.D., a psychiatrist and expert in trauma-informed care
Jeff Gorter, MSW, vice president of clinical crisis response at R3 Continuum
Dr. Lauren Cook, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of Generation Anxiety
